Here’s why your past relationships haven’t worked—and what you can do differently next time. Plus, I’m revealing my roadmap to help you get into the relationship of your dreams. A relationship that lasts. You definitely want to stick around for this video.
My name is Katie Wang. I’m a dating and relationship coach. And when I went back and looked at the 12 most significant relationships of my life, I noticed patterns—common patterns of what made those relationships work and, ultimately, what made them fail.
Now, you’ll want to watch this video to understand yourself better. To really understand why you’re attracted to certain types of men and not others. And also, how to decode his feelings for you—especially if you find that men are super interested in the beginning and then, out of nowhere, they lose interest.
Stick around until the very end because I have a free gift for you. Okay, let’s get into it.
First, let’s talk about the building blocks of relationships. The fundamentals of attraction. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you have—it could be a hookup, a situationship, a casual fling, or maybe you’re in a committed relationship or even married. These principles apply across the board.
All relationships are made up of three building blocks, which I call the 3 Pillars of Attraction.
Pillar #1: Physical Attraction (2D)
This is surface-level attraction. Someone’s physical appearance on paper, from a distance, or even on a webcam. Everybody has a type—maybe you like tall guys, maybe you go for broad shoulders, dark hair, blond hair, whatever it is. When you meet a man who fits within your type, you’re automatically drawn to him.
Pillar #2: Chemistry (3D)
This is interactive. It’s someone’s vibe, their energy, how it feels to be around them. Some people are naturally magnetic—you just feel good when you’re with them. They pull you in. You think about them even when you just met. That’s chemistry.
Pillar #3: Emotional Intimacy (4D)
This is the depth of the connection. It’s when someone feels like your best friend. You can fully be yourself with them, knowing they have your back no matter what. You can sit in silence together and still feel close. This is the glue that holds everything together.
Now, you need all three for a relationship to last. If even one is missing, eventually, the relationship will start to collapse.
Let’s break it down:
- If you have physical attraction + chemistry, you’ve got an exciting hookup or short-lived fling. It burns hot and fast but dies out in less than three months.
- If you have physical attraction + emotional intimacy, it looks great on paper, but something feels off. You don’t feel that deep desire, and over time, it fizzles out. These relationships last anywhere from three months to two years before the lack of chemistry becomes too big to ignore.
- If you have chemistry + emotional intimacy, this can last a long time. Many people even marry this person because they feel like their best friend. But over time, without that strong physical attraction, desire starts to fade. This type of relationship can last anywhere from two to seven years before it starts to break down.
The relationship that truly lasts? It has all three pillars. Because when one starts to dip (which will happen), the other two can hold it up long enough for you to work on it.
When a relationship is missing a pillar, you’re more likely to seek that missing piece outside the relationship. And that’s when things start to fall apart.
The good news? You have more control over these three pillars than you think.
- Physical attraction: You can enhance your looks through styling, fitness, and self-care.
- Chemistry: You can improve your charisma, confidence, and feminine energy. Learning to flirt, being playful, being in your body rather than in your head—these things create chemistry.
- Emotional intimacy: This is built over time through consistency, honesty, and trust. It’s about feeling safe enough to be vulnerable with someone and knowing they have your back.
Of all three, emotional intimacy is the most important. Why? Because it’s the foundation. Looks fade. Chemistry can fluctuate. But emotional intimacy is what keeps a relationship strong through life’s ups and downs.
So, how do you use this information in your dating life?
Tip #1: Be patient.
Attraction takes time to develop. A rising tide lifts all boats—if one pillar is there, it can help bring up the others. If you give a guy a real chance, your attraction to him can grow over time. The truth is, most women aren’t instantly attracted to most men. Studies show women rate 80% of men as below average in attractiveness. But that’s because your brain is relying on old programming. You have to expose yourself to new experiences and new types of men to expand what you find attractive.
Tip #2: Chemistry is powerful—but don’t let it blind you.
If you have insane chemistry with a man, it alters your brain chemicals. You think you have a deep connection, even if you don’t. This is why people fall head over heels after one or two dates and believe he’s the one. You need a protocol to keep yourself grounded so you don’t get swept up in a fantasy.
Tip #3: Don’t settle for just physical attraction + emotional intimacy.
If you’re with a guy who looks good on paper, treats you amazingly, and feels like your best friend—but you don’t want him? Don’t settle. He deserves to be with someone who desires him, and you deserve to feel that spark. You can’t force chemistry.
Now, I’ve created a roadmap for your first 90 days of dating. A checklist to help you figure out how you really feel about a man, how to decode his feelings for you, and how to build a passionate, lasting relationship.
You don’t want to waste your time. You don’t want to waste his time. So check it out—it’s completely free, my gift to you.
CLICK HERE TO GET THE FIRST 90 DAYS CHECKLIST
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