What is happening when a man is ignoring you, what he’s thinking, why he’s doing this, and how to best handle this like a high value woman?
If you:
- Like or love a man
- Are married to a man
- Have a deep exclusive relationship with a man you’re dating
- With someone you’ve just started seeing/talking to, getting to know each other and he’s started to pull away & become distant
Maybe you’ve found this guy you really like or in a relationship with is suddenly ignoring you, and it’s PAINFUL to be ignored. Maybe he’s leaving your message on read, he’s not answering your texts, your calls, he’s clearly active on social media, liking and viewing your photos, in your feed, but he’s just not responding to you.
I know how it feels, I’ve been there too, and I remember spending days unable to sleep or think about much else than what that guy was doing or thinking about and why he still hadn’t texted back.
“When you are ignored by a person whose attention means the most to you, the reaction in your brain will be similar to physical pain.”
Here’s what’s REALLY going on:
Reason #1: He’s Hurt and in Shutdown Mode
Sometimes, a man goes quiet because something you said or did triggered him emotionally. And no, that doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. You weren’t walking around trying to upset him, right?
People get triggered unexpectedly, even by things they didn’t realize would bother them. I remember when I was younger, I didn’t understand my own emotions. When my boyfriend said something that upset me, I physically shut down. My whole body tensed, my brain froze, and I couldn’t even speak. People say, “Why doesn’t he just communicate?” But sometimes, he literally can’t—just like I couldn’t.
So, if he’s ignoring you, it’s not necessarily about you. He may just not know how to handle his emotions.
Reason #2: He’s Playing Games
Some men learn that ignoring a woman makes her chase them. They shut down, go silent, and suddenly, she’s texting, calling, checking in, pouring on attention. And guess what? That boosts his ego.
Now, let’s be clear—this is childish and immature behavior. But he’s doing it because, deep down, he feels out of control. By making you chase, he feels like he’s regaining that control.
If this is what’s happening? Don’t play along. A high-value woman doesn’t reward manipulation.
Reason #3: His Heart is Elsewhere
He may be single, but that doesn’t mean he’s emotionally available. His heart might still be with his ex, with another woman he’s interested in, or even with a fantasy version of his “dream girl” that he’s chasing.
If that’s the case, his silence is his way of setting a boundary. He’s not leading you on—he’s subtly telling you that he’s not available. And that has nothing to do with you or your worth.
Reason #4: He’s Actually Just Busy
Sometimes, women spiral into panic when a guy doesn’t respond for a few hours. And listen, I get it! When we like someone, we mentally track their schedule. We know when he’s off work, when he’s at the gym, when he should be available. So when he doesn’t text back by 6:02 PM, we start to overanalyze.
But let’s be real—life happens. His boss could’ve called him into a last-minute meeting. He might’ve had an emergency. He could’ve even (gasp!) just been taking a nap.
Now, if it’s been days? That’s different. No one is that busy. Even the busiest CEO has 30 seconds to send a text. If he’s ignoring you for days, it’s not about being busy—it’s about priorities.
Reason #5: He’s Just Not That Into You
This one hurts. But it’s better to face it than waste your time.
We’ve all been there—thinking, He HAS to like me! Look at how amazing our connection was! Look at all the signs! And sometimes, we even start doing extra work to “prove” the connection—chasing, planning, initiating.
But if you were to stop all of that, would he step up? Or would he disappear? If a man truly wants you, he will pursue you. No chasing required.
What Should You Do?
It doesn’t matter why he’s pulling away—because the reason is all about him, not you.
So instead of spiraling, here’s how to handle it like a high-value woman:
- Do nothing. No texting, no calling, no chasing. Let him come to you.
- Redirect your focus. Happiness doesn’t come from external validation—it comes from within. Work on feeling good in your life.
- Heal your heart. If this is triggering deep insecurity, dive into self-care. Read I Need Your Love—Is That True? by Byron Katie. It’ll change your perspective on love and attachment.
- Trust the process. If he’s meant to be in your life, he’ll come back on his own—with more effort than before. If he doesn’t? That’s your answer.
At the end of the day, love isn’t about strategy, tactics, or forcing things. Love is easy when it’s right. You don’t have to chase. You don’t have to prove anything.
If you want to learn how to shift the dynamic so that he is the one chasing you, check out my free video, How to Get Him to Chase You here.
And if you’re ready to work one-on-one with me to transform your love life, go here.
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