Struggling to give a man space so he misses you and comes back? Struggling to give a man space because you’re constantly anxious, constantly thinking about him? Do you just “want to know” what he’s thinking, what he’s doing, and how intentions for you, so you can move forward and feel better?
Here’s my ultimate guide for how to give a man space so you he misses you and comes back
In this video I’ll reveal:
- How to give a guy space without feeling anxious or obsessively thinking about him
- How long to give him space for
- Is it even appropriate to give him space?
- 5 mistakes you must NOT make
- 5 steps to give him space so you can bring him close, re-ignite his passion and desire for you.
- How to communicate AFTER giving space
- What to do if he ghosts you
Here’s a recap:
Step 1: What doesn’t work:
- Asking him for reassurance.
- Trying to redeem yourself.
- Telling him he is wrong and why he is wrong.
- Trying to do all of the above in a “loving” (manipulative) way.
- Doing nothing.
Step 2: Look at all the facts.
What is the context in which he is pulling away? Does it make sense that he is now pulling away?
Your primitive brain wants to alert you to the 1% chance of the worst case scenario but then our logical brain is telling you is there’s nothing to worry about
To stop the back and forth spin, you want to deliberately go towards the worst case scenario, give that worst case that 1% worst case scenario proper air time that your brain is alerting you to.
Step 3: Reach acceptance by moving through emotions.
Your anxiety comes from your resistance to your worst case scenario.
By allowing yourself to accept the worst case as true, you allow yourself to move to the next emotional stage.
I recommend you sit with it, you do not resist it or try to get out of it in any way. You sit in that worst case and you feel all the emotions, you will reach acceptance on the other side.
There’s a difference between the thoughts that create anger and feeling angry. And there’s a difference between feeling angry and expressing anger.
If you really believed the worst case is true then it won’t really matter what you do, you can get angry at him, get angry at yourself, you can stay angry, it will not change the fact.
Step 4: Communicate calmly to verify information.
I want to give you permission to communicate your true thoughts and feelings even if he wanted space. You’re going to ask calmly, if what you suspect is true is true, and because you have reached acceptance, now you have made room and space for other emotions to come in and the emotion you want to have going into this conversation is openness, neutrality and curiosity.
For example:
I’ve noticed that you’ve been a bit distant lately, I would just appreciate it if you told me what is going on, if you are losing interest, or if you have doubts, or if you like someone else – it’s completely fine. Just tell me what is going on so I’m not left in the dark.
Step 5: Take care of yourself by deciding what you’re going to make his exit mean about you.
Here’s what I make it mean:
- he’s not my man
- he did me a favor by disappearing
- him ghosting me and disappearing means nothing about me and the future of my relationships
- there is much more better men and more compatible men out there for me.
Step 6: How long should you give him space for? How long should you wait for him?
A man may give you a very legitimate reason for why he is pulling away. You may have a deep understanding for why he’s pulled away and you can’t even blame him for pulling away.
This is a Honey Trap.
Eg.
You still have hope for the future with you and him but at the same time, you also don’t want to be misled or have your time wasted. It also doesn’t feel good waiting for someone to come back.
Women put themselves in a “wait state”, where psychologically and energetically they carry themselves not as if they’re still single, but they carry themselves as if they are taken but they’re not taken. So even though you want to date and act normal, you’re not acting normal, you shut yourself off, you’re closed off.
Ask yourself this question:
If his opinion of you was irrelevant, what would you then do?
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t lose him or get hurt?
If you ultimately want to keep your options open, and not care about what he thinks, adopt this belief:
“Men will still want you, men will still desire you even when you stop caring about what they think, even when you show zero interest, even when they’re angry.”
If he is truly interested in you he will not be scared off by competition, he will not worry about the competition at all.
If he does lose interest, he’s not your man to be begin with, his interest was weak to begin. Better for you to know that now, so you can move on to find a man that you do connect well with, find a man who will want you regardless of competition.